Like a lot of people, I kept journals of what was happening in my life during my teens and early twenties.  Sometimes I would write poetry in the journals, or maybe just a random thought I had.  Most often, I filled page after page with doom, despair and desperation over an ended love affair.  The turmoil and strife of my life were evident in every word, but it was cathartic to write it all down.  It was my way of working out my problems without listening to the judgement of others.  And it worked wonders!!  Alas, with age came children and marriage (in that order!) and my journalling, for the most part, stopped.  Mind you, my problems didn’t stop~just the journalling did.  Reason being?  Well, quite honestly, there were people in the house that could read now!  And Lord knows, during certain times in my life, the words that would have found their way to the page would not have been kind to the individual(s) I feared of reading them!!

Forward to 2012….I still have 1 child at home, and although she is only in elementary school, she reads on an 8th grade level!! Now, I doubt that she would trouble herself by reading my “diary”, but why risk it?  Enter Blogging………….Granted it hit the World right  about the same time my first  child did, and I could have started an online journal years ago, but the thought never occurred to me.  See, I’m one of those “non-technical” sort of people.  I prefer tangible goods I can see, hold and feel versus the virtual world we live in today.  Computers, cell phones, game consoles, and all things IRelated drive me nuts.   But, I am going to venture out, give it a whirl, see if I can achieve the same sort of cheering up and inspiration to move forward that I did when I put pen to paper.   This time, however, I’ll have the added dimension of a possible audience.  Interesting concept.  I’m going to write about my life, to feel better about certain things and to grab some perspective on others, all the while wondering on some level, if anyone can relate.  Very Odd.

Now, I’m not expecting an audience for real; my life just isn’t that interesting….but who knows?  Stranger stuff has happened!  I  know that I could make my page Private like I wanted my journals to be in the first place, but I figure if I have to resort to an electronic version, I might as well go all out and put it All Out…..The Good, The Bad and The Indifferent.

Topics to sort out sooner vs later:

To Drink or Not to Drink (just over a month into the “Not to Drink” category 🙂

What to do with my aging, alcoholic, homeless mom

Keep the long term job I have that does not allow me to pay my bills or have insurance, but gives me 100% freedom to be with my daughter

File Divorce papers for that Marriage I carelessly entered into since the annulment was denied

How to make Amends with the Boyfriend I didn’t marry

Getting to a Doctor to put my raging Anxiety in check seeing as nothing I’m trying is working

I’m sure there’s plenty more, but if journalling brings me any solutions to the above I’ll be infinitely grateful to it once again.  As the young adults of this era are prone to saying, “FML” ❤




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